It's been several days since my last post. Life's been busy at Malaysiakini with some ups and downs. The ups have been providing news coverage, the downs have been 'human relations' -- and here, I don't think I shall need go further.

Covering the Kampung Berembang demolishing was quite exciting perhaps because of a number of anxious moments when things were quite unruly and getting out of hand. At the height of tensions and skirmishes one can easily be a victim of police brutality and for the first time, I have seen with my own eyes the eagerness with which the enforcement unit of the municipal councils, the police and the Federal Reserve Unit use force to subdue demonstrators and people who feel they were protecting their homes and belongings.



What bothered me with this incident was the exposure people were willing to put their children to to violence.

They left their children in the surau and to me this was like a human shield. I had gone into the surau where children as young as three or four years old were left. They felt the tensions outside, they say the fights from the first floor of the surau and they were scared. Children were crying.

I think it was immoral of the villagers to have done that to their kids. They should have been moved out as soon as the FRU arrived. And I had asked Ghani, a villager I had known during my time at Asia PR Publishing, to tell the parents to move their children out.

Continuing with the coverage of the Kampung Berembang demolition, I've put up another video on You Tube...



The poor always get downtrodden...regardless of who is in power.

Penang Chief Minister and Gerakan Deputy President Koo Tsu Koon caught by reporters at the opening of UMNO general assembly...

Traders lend a carnival-like atmosphere to the serious business of politics at the 57th UMNO General Assembly...

Kak Rafidah has the last say at the end of the 57th UMNO General Assembly...

This one is Hishammuddin Tun Hussein talking about Putra UMNO. He was also asked about the fiery speeches by the UMNO Youth delegates attacking some leaders of the Barisan component parties...

Since Tuesday, I've been at the UMNO General Assembly -- their 57th -- covering it for my new employers, Malaysiakini. I joined them on November to handle the video unit.

I'm going to put up the videos of the general assembly here.

A couple of years ago I attended a documentary production workshop at FINAS. This is a project that we completed during the 6-day course...

Raziq took part in his first St. Ronan concert today, Nov 5. This is the first part...



And Adik is back from NZ for a couple of months also...

Hari Raya has so far been normal. And I am absolutely bersyukur Alhamdulillah for still having my parents, children, wife, sisters, nieces and brother in law and immediate uncles and aunties around...

As we get older, sense of 'mortality' is rather strong...

This year, we are in KL since there is no more 'kampong' to go back to.

Food stalls hit hard by sugar shortage
Shufiyan Shukur
Aug 19, 06 11:37am

Pakcik Amir Wahab, who has been operating a street-side stall for five years, lamented the difficulty of getting his supply of sugar to make his assortment of traditional cakes, cookies and banana fritters. "I require about 12 to 13 kilogrammes of sugar every five days, but sometimes the shops permit me to buy only 2 kg at one time which is not enough," he sighed.

"And sometimes I can't even get that," added Amir at his stall in Kuala Lumpur’s Bangsar Utama, which he runs with the help from his wife. Without the quantities of sugar he needs, he makes fewer cakes to sell and his daily takings have dropped substantially.

"Operating the stall is the only way I make a living and it's getting increasingly difficult to do that," he said. Amir doesn't mind if the price of sugar increases, but the increase must be reasonable.

"Some shops are selling sugar at RM2 per kg when the retail price is only between RM1.40 and RM1.45 per kg. "Such a huge increase is not acceptable," he added. [See video clip]

Operating on the same street and just a few feet from Amir is Bakri Taufik (photo), who isn't so badly affected by the sugar shortage. As he fries mostly banana fritters, ubi keladi (yam), ubi kayu (tapioca) and ubi keledek (sweet potato), his sugar requirements are not in the bucket loads - just 2kg a day and he has no difficulty in getting that quantity regularly.

"Except for the ubi kayu, all the other fried snacks use very little sugar so the shortage hasn't affected me at all," he said. Bakri buys his sugar at RM1.50 per kg which he said has been the price he has paid for the last five years. [See video clip]

Bad for business Puan Rohaya Rahim, however, is deeply concerned. Her business of making of breads and cakes which she supplies everyday to her distributors around the Klang Valley requires a whopping five 50kg bags of castor sugar everyday.

"But for Hari Raya, I make 550,000 cookies and this year, I have a higher target. But the sugar shortage is worrying because I have difficulty in getting icing and castor sugar," she complained. In preparing for the Hari Raya demand for her cookies, Rohaya needs 50 25kg bags of icing sugar and 10 50kg bags of castor sugar.

"Suppliers are now selling castor and icing sugar in smaller quantities which cost me a lot more, but I can't increase the price of my cookies because the price has already been fixed," she said. Rohaya wants to know what actions are being taken by the Ministry of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs to ensure that sugar will be available for the festive season.

"My target date to start producing the cookies is August 15 to meet Hari Raya demand, but I'm still struggling to secure the sugar supplies that I need," she added. For stall holders like Pakcik Amir, the fasting month is usually the time for them to look forward to brisk sales as traditional cakes are popular for the breaking of fast. Unless the supply of sugar starts flowing regularly again, this year's Hari Raya in October will be a miserable one for them.

Sugar shortage: Get tough with hoarders, smugglers
Shufiyan Shukur
Aug 18, 06 12:49pm

Consumer associations are becoming increasingly bitter over the sugar shortage affecting the country. One of them urges the authorities to come down hard on those responsible, including using security laws that provide for detention without trial.

The Consumers Association of Subang and Shah Alam (Cassa) believes that the sugar shortage is caused by hoarding and smuggling.

The authorities, it said, should stop pussyfooting and use the Emergency Ordinance (EO) against the culprits.

"This problem has been going on since April and there seems to be no let up in the shortage of sugar around the country so tougher action is needed," said Cassa president Dr Jacob George.

The EO, similar to the Internal Security Act, allows for suspects to be held for two years without trial. The government can then extend the detention order.

George said Cassa has been receiving daily reports and complaints from people around the country.

Although primarily focused on consumer issues affecting Subang and Shah Alam, Cassa's hotline number is well known around the country and its popularity has taken its president to Kelantan, Perlis, Melaka and Port Dickson to inspect the situation first hand.

"We've become like a national referral centre," he said.

Ministry being soft

George expressed disappointment with the Ministry of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs (MDTCA) which is resorting to the soft method of advising the public through billboards and press statements to consume less sugar and they point fingers at others.

"There's no point in advising people to reduce their consumption of sugar. Yes it's true that high sugar consumption causes health problems and we fully agree with that, but that's a personal choice.

"In areas like Kelantan where women are traditionally the bread-winners by making traditional cakes, cookies and delicacies, they are severely affected by the shortage.

"Similarly around the country, families who are supplementing their income by selling these traditional fairs in stalls to meet the rising cost of living brought on by recent hikes in petrol and electricity prices are badly affected too," he said.

To make matters worse, he said there are some consumer associations departing from consumer interests by asking for an increase in the price of sugar.

George was referring to the Federation of Malaysian Consumers Associations' (Fomca) call for the government to increase the price of sugar from the current RM1.40 - RM1.45 sen ceiling by 30sen to RM1.70 - RM1.75 per kilogramme.

"This is unbelievable and cannot be understood in today's situation where consumers are braving higher costs of living," he added.

The Cassa president said if the price of sugar goes up, consumer items that have sugar as an important ingredient will definitely go up.

"Beverages like Coca-Cola have standard formulas that their factories around the world have to follow, so it's not just a matter of simply reducing the quantity of sugar used in the Malaysian plant to maintain local prices, and this is the same for all food and beverage products" he added.

Hammer approach

George attributes the sugar shortage to hoarding and smuggling and what he calls 'the black hand' that's manipulating the sugar market.

"We are calling the government to invoke emergency laws, because the economy of the country is being threatened by these people.

"They are subverting the country through their activities and with emergency ordinance we can freeze their accounts, conduct raids, seize their warehouses and conduct arrests," he said.

"The ministry needs to use the 'hammer' approach, not the soft approach because of the severity of the situation," he added.

George asked how smuggling can take place under the noses of the authorities.

"Are there individuals in the enforcement units who are aiding and abetting the smugglers, just as we have seen in the illegal VCD and DVD trade?" he asked.

George does not agree with the MDTCA that the problem lies with the four refineries.

According to Cassa research, last year's production for the domestic market from the refineries amounted to 1.024 million metric tonnes and so far this year production has reached 437,794 metric tonnes.

"This shows that the refineries are producing the required amounts and they need to produce only 70% of their combined capacity to meet local demands," he said.

"The ministry is blaming everyone except themselves. The ministry said the problem will be solved in August, but I don't see this happening because the cause of the shortage hasn't been removed - the movers and shakers are still there, they have not been detained and are still operating so how can you say the problem will be solved?" George continued.

"The ministry is just looking at a fast solution by asking the refineries to increase production without looking at the real issues,” he added.

Sugar refineries silent

Although agreeing that the sugar monopoly should be broken, George said the culprits are the distributors and wholesalers because these are the ones with the infrastructure to move sugar supplies and it is this level that should be tackled first.

"But the big boys (referring to the four refineries) are keeping quiet, letting the Ministry of International Trade and Industry do the talking for them, which I think is a rather sad situation," he added.

Addressing the sugar refineries, he said: "If you remain silent, people think you are aiding and abetting because at the end of the day, if the price goes up, you make a killing. If there are irregularities and discrepancies you should be giving the information to the authorities, you have the permits, you should be responsible."

George is also asking who advises the minister (Mohd Shafie Apdal) because strategies are changing all the time suggesting that the ministry is grabbing at straws on how to tackle the problem.

"The minister should meet people like us (consumer groups) who can provide him a better picture of what's happening on the ground.

"We receive feedback all the time through our hotlines and informants and we're willing to give him the benefit of this information and work with him on a sustainable solution.

"But so far he hasn't asked for a meeting," George said.

-- end --

Time to hike sugar prices to curb shortages?

Aug 17, 06 11:55am

The government should increase the retail price of sugar by as much as 30 sen per kilogram to RM1.70 from its current controlled retail price of RM1.40 to RM1.45 sen per kilogramme to help alleviate the current sugar shortage.

This is the unpopular proposal from the Federation of Malaysian Consumers Associations (Fomca).

“One of the reasons for the sugar shortage is smuggling since the price of the item is so much cheaper in Malaysia than in neighbouring countries such as Indonesia, Singapore and Thailand,” said Fomca director of communications Mohd Yusof Abdul Rahman.

“A higher retail price will discourage smugglers since their profit margins won’t be great enough to warrant the risks involved in smuggling,” he added.

According to reports, the retail price of sugar in Indonesia, Singapore and Thailand are RM2.40, RM2.05 and RM1.90 per kilogramme respectively.

But wouldn’t an increase in the price of sugar, so soon after the increase in petrol prices and electricity rates, create a chain reaction of a further round of price hikes in essentials such as food items and beverages?

Reduce the use of sugar

Mohd Yusof said Fomca’s view is that manufacturers of food items and beverages should reduce the use of sugar as ingredients in their products and so there shouldn’t be price increases for these items.

“Fomca is in common with the Ministry of Health’s call for less use of sugar in products such as carbonated beverages.

“We should also encourage less use of sugar in our diets because sugar has been attributed to being one of the chief causes of obesity and diabetes amongst Malaysians,” he added.

Fomca and its member associations around the country have been receiving numerous complaints from consumers on the difficulty of purchasing sugar and the quota imposed by supermarkets on individual purchases.

“Some retailers and supermarkets are imposing a 2kg limit per purchase, but for those engaging in business such as selling traditional cakes and drinks, they can’t get by on the one or two kilogramme limit that many shops impose,” Mohd Yusof said.

Disappointed with ministry

“We are disappointed with the Ministry of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs that this shortage has been going on since April and until now there has been no solution to the problem,” he added.

He said the ministry did not view the shortage as a serious problem initially, even though sugar is an essential item and is a product that falls under Akta Kawalan Bekalan 1961 which guarantees availability and Akta Kawalan Harga 1946 which determines the ceiling price.

“So the government needs to do its utmost to ensure supply and price because consumers and businesses are being badly hit by the shortage.

“We are monitoring the situation through our affiliates, other consumer associations and from the public as well and report the situation on the ground to the ministry.

“There have been times when the ministry had directed supplies after being alerted of the non availability of sugar in a particular area, and although we are grateful for the effort, Fomca is not happy with this long drawn out shortage,” he added.

The ministry has also pointed the finger at wholesalers and retailers who hoard sugar in anticipation of a price increase - in view of the high raw sugar prices in the open market - as a chief cause of the shortage.

“Although the ministry is putting in the efforts to act against errant wholesalers and retailers, monitoring and enforcement still needs to be better, because we don’t want them to profit if the government does increase the price of sugar in the near future.

“Now even consumers are hoarding, afraid that there won’t be sugar for the festive season, and this has compounded the problem,” Mohd Yusof said.

-- end --

My 'Sugar' pieces in Malaysiakini.com

Sugar shortage: End monopoly by 'kings'
Shufiyan Shukur
Aug 16, 06 1:04pm

The

Federation of Malaysian Consumer Associations (Fomca) has questioned the rationale of allowing just four companies to import and refine raw sugar, saying the system must be partly blamed for the nationwide sugar shortage.

Director of communications Mohd Yusof Abdul Rahman said the refiners import sugar through a Long Term Contract (LTC) with stated quotas and pricing, as well as at open market prices from the main producers.

Derivatives such as refined, brown and castor sugar are then produced for export and local distribution.

“We don’t see why the country should limit ownership of sugar refineries to four companies, which are controlled by just two people - ‘Sugar King’ Robert Kuok and Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhary,” he said.
Kuok, through his listed flagship Perlis Plantation Group Bhd, controls Malayan Sugar Manufacturing and Kilang Gula Felda Perlis, a joint-venture with the Federal Land Development Authority.

Syed Mokhtar, through Tradewinds (M) Bhd, controls Central Sugar Refinery and Gula Padang Terap.

Fomca believes that the four companies should be monitored closely to determine if enough sugar is being allocated for domestic needs, since higher prices in neighbouring countries make exporting a more attractive option.

“How difficult is it to monitor four companies?” Mohd Yusof asked.

Stop blame-game

A Malay-language daily recently quoted a source in the domestic trade and consumer affairs ministry as tracing the sugar shortage to the Approved Permits (APs) issued by the international trade and industry minister for raw sugar imports.

The source further alleged that refineries have been exporting refined sugar to capitalise on the
higher prices abroad, or are producing other types of sugar - one was said to have used its entire 56,000-tonne quota from the LTC to produce gula merah, brown sugar and icing sugar.

On July 18, however, national news agency Bernama quoted International Trade and Industry Minister Rafidah Aziz as deflecting criticism levelled at the refiners, by denying the existence
of APs.

She said the refineries are producing the tonnage of refined sugar required for domestic needs and blamed the distribution system, smuggling and hoarding by wholesalers and retailers as the main causes of the shortage.

Mohd Yusof said both ministries, instead of assigning blame, should work towards a solution - whether it is to restrict the export quota, increase the number of refineries, break the 10-year retail price ceiling of RM1.40 - RM1.45 per kg, or exert greater vigilance over the movement of sugar by refineries and wholesalers.

“Fomca has been asking for legislation along the lines of a Fair Trade Act for many years. This will address a lot of issues, such as putting in place
mechanisms and procedures to prevent hoarding and profiteering,” Mohd Yusof said.

“We feel this is urgent because sugar is just one of the controlled essential items. Other essentials such as rice and flour could face similar problems in future. We also feel that essential items should not be in the hands of monopolies.”

An industry source pointed to manufacturing and distribution as the ‘choke points’, saying that structural issues need to be resolved.

Until these are tackled, he warned, enforcement efforts at the wholesale level will not make much difference and “not one grain of sugar will reach the shelves to satisfy consumer needs”.

-- End --

A documentary done as a project at a FINAS documentary production workshop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVs19lhm-Qg

Kampang Fajar, that fringes the FINAS complex in Ulu Kelang is disappearing, and with it, part of a the nation's film history.

Promo for Azman's movie, 'Dayang'...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUQop3RZQAA&mode=related&search=

My Friend

This is Dain Said, director of the new movie, Dukun. I got to know him, sometime in '74 in London. I used to work for his late father, Dato Said Zain in the late Tun Mustapha's London office which was situated near Euston Station. The company was called Kudat Properties and Tun Mustapha was Sabah's Chief Minister. But if I remember he had already resigned or was forced out of the position soon after.Dain was about 17 then and I, 20. He was a little aloof at first. I remember his late mother, Auntie Esah telling me that he did not have many Malay friends. We're somehow related too through Auntie Esah's mother, Mak Timah Manan. But probably, distant relations because I don't remember them when I was growing up in KL.But later, he was OK and I used to visit his house quite often even after I had stopped working for Uncle Said and introduced him to some of my friends then, Salim Yatim, Hashim Natt, Ana & Ani Rahman...

He was an intense teenager a bit of a rebel without a cause and that intensity hasn’t shown any signs of calming down when I met him 4 months or so ago on a Sunday having teh tarek at a stall near Jalan Chan Chin Mooi, Setapak.

I remember that he was a big reader; jacket pocket was never without a book, purchased in second book shops or at any one of the flea markets he frequented. He introduced me to Portobello which also became a favourite weekend jaunt of mine.

His bedroom walls were lined with bookshelves, filled top to bottom, left to right and if you had picked up any of his books, you'll find them all dog-eared and scribbled with notes, marks and what have you in his distinctive handwriting -- high upper zone, and low lower zones. There were no clean, unadulterated books and I didn't remember a plain wall...

He read the books and he read the authors, I believing studying the authors’ thought processes, circumstances and experiences from one book to the next.

In many ways, I was quite influenced by him and for awhile also ‘followed’ the authors as I read their books. It wasn’t an ad hoc picking up a book in a store and another one after finishing that … I would read and search out other books by an author and maybe would read 3 or books from the same writer. But I couldn’t follow the regime, because I could not read deeper into what the author ‘was on about’. I was and still am a superficial reader, taking pleasure in the story-telling, the beauty of the words and phrases and that’s about all. Nothing beyond this, so it’s been haphazard, ad hoc reading then and now.

(to be continued...I'm zonked)

After flirting with the idea of marine architecture, he landed up studying photography and film, and really this was and is his forte – what he was made for. But I hadn’t thought for a minute he would be working in the world of advertising. I thought he would be a renowned writer because he had shown me a school essay or something that he wrote and it was brilliant.

But directing commercials was what he did soon after returning from England. None of us thought he and his three sisters would ever come back – they were so English. But come back they did, after the death of Uncle Said, except for the youngest one. She did try living here, but her husband could not get a decent job. So she’s back in England.

But now Dain is directing a full-feature movie and fitting his character, it’s an occult movie based, on the infamous Mona Fandey case -- the 'bomoh' that murdered an UMNO state assemblyman Dato Mazlan Idris sometime in July 1993. CONGRATULATIONS DAIN! I am so incredibly elated for you!

You can read an interview by Philip Golingai in The Star here: http://www.star-ecentral.com/news/story.asp?file=/2006/7/23/movies/14888038&sec=movies

Something I wrote for ‘Letters’ in Malaysiakini.com this week….It was published earlier today, but it seems to have gone from the site….

I wish I had known…

I refer to Abdul Rahman Abdul Talib’s letter, ‘Apostasy punishment quite clear in texts’ and particularly his claims that “…for apostasy is a punishment that a convert has willingly accepted at the time of his conversion. It is not a penalty imposed, rather it is penalty accepted willingly by all converts as part of the teachings of Islam...”

So what about those born Muslims? I wish I had known this before I was born, I may have just ‘opted’ for an agnostic family. But of course, no such choice was given, and if I were to exercise my right to ‘jump the Islamic ship’, people like Abdul Rahman Abdul Talib will drive me off the gangplank and into the jaws of death.

Regardless of the views of ulamaks and even fatwas (religious edicts), it’s rather difficult to accept the death penalty for apostasy in this century. It may well have been acceptable in Islam’s infancy, but it’s a matured religion now and such a martial nature has no place in the world of today – well, maybe in far flung Pakistani villages, Afghanistan, Somalia and in other places of strife, but not in a modern, globalised Malaysia.

What has been put forward by people like Abdul Rahman, presents a frightening face of Islam – death, mutilation, honour killings, an eye-for-an-eye – clearly designed to discourage people from embracing the religion and striking fear in Muslims to enforce compliance and acceptance. I can see sand dunes, flint-locks, scimitars waving, bows and arrows, lances, flags, and rows upon rows of warriors astride camels and horses.

I can imagine a time in our country when mobs would seek out apostates in housing estates, apartments, the parks, KLCC and put them up for public linching and beheading.

What century are we living in?

In Malaysiakini.com

Vox Populi: Mahathir spawned robber barons but...

May 26, 06 12:13pm

Malaysiakini’s interview with Dr Mahathir Mohamad continues to draw a panoply of reactions from readers. Here’s a selection.

Shufiyan Shukur: Many people have knocked Tun Dr Mahathir (TDM), me included. But not many can deny that despite all the negatives of his premiership, he has been a visionary, dragging a laggard country by the scruff of its neck towards development.

No doubt he has also created robber barons - intentionally or unintentionally only God and he knows - and these economic brigands have caused ‘leakages’ in the country’s coffers and enriched themselves beyond the imagination of the rest of us.

But through him, we have the North-South Highway, Penang bridge, KLCC, and the country transformed from an agriculture to a manufacturing-based economy, and the Internet. Now where would we be without the Internet? We certainly would be without Malaysiakini.com which has become the standard bearer of the country’s Internet usage and the epitome of item 7 of the MSC Bill of Guarantees – ensure no censorship of Internet.

And he has put us on the world map, and made quite plain that he and Malaysia will not kowtow to the white man. And can we not forget the currency peg, implemented to thwart servitude to the IMF - a strategy once condemned, but now acknowledged to be quite brilliant?

Not more than three months ago, I was at one of those direct marketing presentations (I’m always suckered into these things). The speaker, a self-made Malaysian in his early 50s who was proud that he had failed even his Form 3 exams told what seemed to be a joke: “Last time, ah, the Mercedes Benz – the white man built it, the Chinese owned it, the Malay drove it and the Indian washed it. But now, all can own it.”

This seems to have summarised the state of the economy pre- and post-Mahathir.

“In Islam, we don’t force people to convert but upon conversion Islamic principles do not allow them to leave....” - Mohd Azmi Abdul Hamid, president of Teras.

(Malaysiakini.com: http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/51136)

What a frightening view of Islam – visions of a life sentence in a penal colony! Was this how Allah swt envisaged His religion to be when he gave Islam to the Prophet Muhamad a.s to spread to mankind? Is this belief that “you can check in anytime you like but can never leave” (an altered verse from Hotel California by the Eagles) derived from a Hadith or decreed in the Quran? If it’s from a Hadith, what value is it really when Hadiths were compiled by human beings and thus soaked in biases and prejudices, misinterpretations of the Imams who compiled or wrote them at that time?

The writing and compiling of Hadiths were entirely human processes. There was no divine guidance in the process – not in the way that Allah swt guided the Prophet Muhamad a.s in spreading His religion. The Hadiths were not even delivered to these Imams by Jibrail or any of Allah’s angels. Hadiths in entirety were purely human, mortal constructs.

In religious classes we’ve been told that thousands of Hadiths were thrown out, and that was a human process; human beings chose what Hadiths were acceptable and what were not, or in their minds, of dubious origins.

Anyway, I plead ignorance to all this, but on a visceral level, I’d rather recognize the reversion of converts or the apostacy of Muslims than have them hide their conversion, die as kafirs in the eyes of Allah swt (for only He knows) and be buried in the company of the Ummah in a Muslim cemetery.

Carrying an anguish

This is a posting that has absolutely no interest to anyone. It’s just me letting go…It’s a habit I acquired since, gee, the 4^th or 5^th form. Whenever I have something bothering me, I doodle. I used to doodle everywhere…exercise books, pieces of paper, novels I was reading at the time, in between newspaper and magazine lines, columns and paragraphs.

In fact if I had been as dedicated to studying as I was at doodling, I’d be quite a corporate chappie at the moment looking towards a respectable retirement instead of facing total financial ruin – the result of a thoughtless past.

Not that I had a particularly disturbed youth. It was actually fantastic. Ah…so now I have discovered why I doodle – to escape serious work!

Of course now, with the age of technology, the PC and Microsoft Word have been the preferred doodling tools. And with my discovery of blogging, it’s become another means to let go steam. Soon it’ll be podcasting. Not bad for a 52 year old toad eh when those my age don’t even have a personal email account.

-----------

I again dreamt of June (not her real name of course). Once in a couple of months, I dream of her. It’s been happening for years.

It’s such an old story. It must be 26 years – from the time I came back for work in ’80, and a couple of years after I burnt her letters and mailed the ashes back to her. It was a stupid and juvenile thing to do, done out of frustration at not receiving any replies to my letters. We had been corresponding quite nicely…then she stopped replying my letters.

I still remember her last letter. She said that ‘kalau ada jodoh, we’ll be together”. That was the last.

So in May of ‘80, when I came back after 7 years, I visited her parents. Her mother was quite happy to see me, and told me that she will arrange for dinner and cook my favourite siput sedut mask chili padi and that she’ll tell June. She gave me June’s work number for me to call. I didn’t call June, and as the day approached, I called her Mum to cancel the dinner. It was out of shame.

Then in September ’80 I got married. Then she got married and that’s the end of that.

We did meet after I settled back here. Once at the funeral of her granny, another time we bumped into each other at The Pub, Shangrila Hotel, one time I went to her house to meet with she and her husband in PJ, but I can’t remember the purpose of the visit, once in 1994 at their office when I went to arrange for an interview with her brother for a story I was writing (I was in The Sun then), and the last time it was at a kenduri for her father who passed away while performing his pilgrimage in Mecca about 3 years ago.

Oh there was one time I saw her near the Bangkok Bank building in 1983 and I think she saw me too…but the coward that I was and still am, turned into a lane.

I don’t visit her mother anymore, even during Raya for fear of bumping into her. I used to, but it always gave me anxiety. So I’ve stopped.

My many attempts at avoidance is a because of great shame. The times when we did come across each other, filled me with unease.

Two marriages and three kids later, I’m still ‘hung up’ about her….if that’s the right word to describe my frequent dreams of her.

I suppose subconsciously it’s a nagging feeling of ‘what could have been’. We were childhood friends and distantly related through marriage rather than by DNA. Our families were once pretty close. My Mum adored her had always wished that I would be betrothed to her. Which I think just about every family member knew and certainly her family too.

In 1974, I left for England and in 1980, out of the blue we begun corresponding. But after 3 or 4 months she stopped without rhyme nor reason. So when a cousin was returning home for the holidays, I asked him that if he should meet her, to ask why she stopped replying my letters.

When he came back to London he told me June heard that my Mum had told someone she hoped whoever I ended up with would be much younger than I. So according to my cousin, June felt slighted as she was (and is) two months older.

If my Mum had indeed said such a thing, it would be in the context of comparing her age with my Dad’s; they’re 10 years apart. My Mum adored June. Loved her like an own daughter, so it wouldn’t have been aimed at June. She was probably speaking generally if indeed she had said it.

Anyway…it’s a long story. June and I are both 52 now. She’s probably wrinkled and as for me, I am fat and ugly as an old toad.

Just two days ago, she came into my dream again which became quite weird because the next day, I received a Skype message from her namesake, but who was a complete stranger and her husband appeared in a newspaper report.

I would like to have a chance to apologise for my juvenile behaviour in burning the letters and mailing the ashes back to her. But the tragedy would be if she does not remember what I did. And a bigger tragedy for me would be that if she had never received the ashes! And I would have been suffering this anguish and shame all this while for nothing!

It would also be comical and testimony to a life of major foul-ups.

And the other thing is, we’ve never gone out. We’ve never sat across from each other and talked. Never. So what is it that I’m uptight about?

from Malaysiakini's vox populi

Shufiyan Shukur:
I just want to commend Melaka Customs and Excise Office for doing their job and not bending to the Jasin MP. Most times, the good work of civil servants goes unnoticed.

I think also most Malaysians are quite disappointed with Pak Lah for his stand on Shahrir. Was there a 'party line' for Shahrir to toe?

You mean the party line is that it's okay for Barisan MPs to use their influence in the interest of their personal commercial enterprises, regardless that it may contravene the laws of the nation?

If it is so, wow! That's quite a revelation!

T'day

Gosh. I'm to do this copy for an advertorial, but my brain won't kick start.

I've been fooling around looking for a software to record skype conversations with the idea to conduct interviews using skype and upload to www.asia247.tv under its various categories. Two products are freeware, but they give you limited usability like allowing you to record only 2 minutes of a skype conversation. Not much good for interviews. But it's not that the softwares are expensive...US$19.99 or something like that. Could be worth it, but my credit card is kinda topped out at the moment.

I've also been browsing Malaysiakini -- reading up on what's happening with Dato Shahrir's resignation as leader of the Back Benchers Club. I suspect he acted a bit too hastily after his 'gang of men' did not support him when he echoed Lim Kit Siang's motion for investigation by Parliament's privileges committee into the actions of Jasin MP, Mohd Said Yusof .

If you remember, the Jasin MP had asked a customs officer to close one eye on an infringement on some imported timber.

Anyway the BBC want him back as leader even though deputy PM Najib accepted his resignation. Now the PM himself has come out instructing the BBC to tow the line. But, heck what line? Was there a decision by the government not to investigate Mohd Said Yusof already?

So looks like Shahrir will not be leading the BBC. A bit of a shame really because apart from his U-turn on the police commission thingy, he's been a good boy really.

Darn. I really have got to get this darn article moving.

Appeared in Malaysiakini's Vox Populi: Use OSA against Dr M? Dream on

Shufiyan Shukur: I am sick of this bridge issue. Can we cut it out? Crooked or straight. Lose or win. What does it all mean? It means our neighbour doesn't want to play ball with us, so screw it, let’s not play ball with them. So Mukhriz, Sanusi, Mahathir, Syed Hamid, Kit Siang, and all you others, shut up! I want to get on with my life without reading about this darn bridge.

The World Cup's around the corner. So don't spoil my enjoyment of it because I might not live long enough to experience the next one. Besides why bother with a bridge. It'll only give the Singaporean armed forces a scenic route to Johor when they decide to over-run it. Which isn't such a ridiculous thought when you consider the possibility that reclamation may not be a viable option forever and ever.

And with Israel as its role model, and the US as its big daddy (well at least until US marines start raping its gals), Singapore is a military threat, so don't make it easy for them to cross over. Let their army suffer the current crossings and the wet straits - it gives an opportunity for our pot-bellied and lethargic army to take potshots before being completely overwhelmed.

Did you know that our armed forces rely on everyday citizens to report of encroaches into our sovereign airspace by the Singapore airforce?

We don't seem to have military radars to detect such encroaches so we don't have any means to respond to them.

The Singaporeans on the other hand have AWACS.

And have you read recently that we have air-to-surface missiles that won't fire?

I wonder who is making money at the expense of our security?

Will Singapore be successful in over-runing Johor (if not the entire peninsula)? Damn right they will -- our army's slogan is 'one bullet, one enemy' or something lame and visceral like that. Their recruitment slogan is 'the most powerful warhead is on your shoulders'. -- damn powerful slogan.

That small little dimple of an island will one day rule Johor.

For want of better things to do, I took the 'Tickle Test' for emotional IQ. Pretty interesting stuff and I think the results come very close to my own self-assessment.

Go ahead, try some of the tests at Tickle. http://web.tickle.com/

This is my report:

Perception
You scored 5 out of 10 on the perception scale. Reading people may not be your biggest strength. You are well aware that communication is a dynamic process consisting of at least two people sending and receiving messages between each other. The important thing to remember, however, is that communication is both verbal and non-verbal. For example, if you notice someone glancing at their watch during a conversation, you might miss the full range of underlying messages a signal such as this could be sending. This person could be anxious to end the conversation because they are bored or because they need to make another appointment. This person could also be nervous, and checking their watch is a sign of this. On the other hand, this person could simply just be checking to see what time it is. People who score in your range on the perception scale tend to take things at face value and would interpret the time checker's action as merely wanting to know what time it is.

After all, if they're late, wouldn't they just say so? If they're nervous, wouldn't you see other signs of that? And even if you were looking for further signs, it's possible that the more subtle cues, such as their tone of voice or the type of eye contact they make, might be lost on you. It's not that you wouldn't notice it, it's just that you don't always know how to interpret non-verbal signs collectively.

You have a hard time putting multiple clues together to form a new concept of how a person is relating to you.In the above scenario, there could be numerous reasons a person wouldn't state outright that they are late and have to go. People's motives for their behavior are sometimes complex and inaccessible to you.

In your own situations, try to pay more attention to what is being said and what is not being said. Picking up on the tone of voice, nervous gestures, or facial expressions offers invaluable information on how a person is feeling. In the end, not taking the world so literally will reduce the number of times you are misled by what people say versus what they really do.

Comprehending nonverbal cues will make you a more sensitive person, better able to predict the world around you and make decisions accordingly.

Expression
You scored 7 out of 10 on the expression scale. Your score indicates that you are relatively comfortable in expressing your emotions. However, you are not as open with your emotions as you could be and may even be embarrassed to acknowledge or express them. You are fairly in tune with both your conscious and unconscious feelings and why you are feeling a particular way.

For example, if you'd been working for a promotion at work you might have been confiding in a close co-worker about wanting a certain position. Then, a couple days later you might learn the position you'd wanted has been given to your co-worker! Although rationally you understand she wasn't vying for the position behind your back and it was a matter of circumstance that she got the position over you, you still feel disappointment and anger.

Chances are, because you are someone who is relatively comfortable expressing emotions, you probably won't hide your disappointment because it's not "rational." Instead, you might realize this is a situation that needs to be addressed between the two of you. You know that ignoring this touchy situation could breed resentment further down the road. Simply put, you have a need to clear the air. Whether you do this effectively or sensitively is another story, but the point is you do not waste energy protecting yourself from what you feel.Sometimes people mistakenly equate being self-aware or relying on your emotions for your responses as a sign of weakness.

This may be a problem for you. In the above example, it might be hard for you to express disappointment to your co-worker because it shows you have a vulnerable side, that you felt hurt. However, you are self-aware enough to understand that all the intellectualizing and rationalizing in the world cannot erase your discontent.

After all, you recognize you will be compromising your happiness if don't tend to your emotional needs.

Empathy
You scored a 8 out of 10 on the empathy scale. You respond to others with your heart and soul.

Most of the time, people sense your genuineness and commitment to being a compassionate person. You tend to not only observe other people's situations, but also understand the importance of empathizing instead of criticizing.

And in general, you are not one to put down others simply to boost your own self-esteem because you are better at putting yourself in other people's shoes than some.

You are astute enough to know that sometimes you won't have all the information about another person you need to make a fair judgment of them or their actions. You won't know their background, their personal or financial situation, or another key element that might be driving them to do something a certain way.

But even armed with this awareness, you may need to put effort into refraining from easy criticism. Too often people put down others to boost their own self-esteem. It's important to keep in mind that sometimes we can't see all of the situational pressures that influence how other people act. Before deciding that someone's behavior is due to a flawed personality, ask yourself: is there anything about the person's situation that may have led to this? It's wise to understand that you're not perfect and someday you might need others to cut you some slack, too. All of us need people in our lives who honor our individuality and imperfections.

My score was 118 out of 145 (if I'm not mistaken). And the results go on to advise on things one can do to improve the score.

Ana, Ani & her family are on the way to the airport from the Mandarin. They've been here since last week -- 10 days. I wanted to send them off, but they decided it was best to arrange with the hotel limo to take them to KL Sentral for the fast KLIA train.

At the very least I wanted to send them off at the hotel, but Raziq's fever had gotten worst during the night and we couldn't sleep worrying and monitoring his temperature. So, I didn't even hear the alarm going off at 6.30.

My colour is Brown! What a revelation, and I thought I'm a Blue kinda guy.

Take a test and be amused:



Your true color is Brown!

What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

We are in Malaysia, enjoying the comforts of home and of a nation that is relatively wealthy and developed. There are no wars being fought around the corner and when we go out to work, for a meal, a drink or to visit friends and relatives, we are almost assured that we will return in one piece. If there is anything that will kill or maim us, it will be the traffic -- it wouldn't be a bullet, stray or aimed from an insurgent, army or mercenary.

We could be caught in a crossfire between criminals and the police, or an armed robber could kill or injure us or a disease would strike us dead. But it wouldn't be from a bullet from a war that happens around us everyday.

We, being so far away, have no inkling of what people go through in Palestine, Iraq (http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/2006/04/20/landing-at-the-iraqi-blogodrome-10/#more-9307) and the other parts of the Muslim world, and we sometimes (nay, all the time) forget to give our thanks to God for our good luck. We must breathe Syukur Alhamdulillah with every breath because Allah swt has blessed us with such great fortunes. We must breathe Al Fatihah to all the Muslims who are suffering and dying because the West believe our religion is evil. And we must pray also for non-Muslims who have suffered from the violence that have been perpetrated against them by people who have hijacked our religion.

But what do we concern ourselves with in this beloved land? We argue if our country is an Islamic nation. We quarrel about whether it's OK or not OK to wear a headscarf after the Muslim fashion, or if in cleansing ourselves for prayer, whether it's haram that we washed our face 5 times instead of 3.

We are dead worried if eating with chopsticks is haram. We have become riduculous in our pettiness. Maybe it's because we have been living such a good life, that we can't see the spirit of Islam, nor its substance -- only its form. So our Imams wear the jubbah when a 'baju melayu' would suffice.

I wonder what this means:

"My search for answers on Mak Yong and the tarian istana brought me to the terrains of post-structuralist theories of language and symbolic power and the role of art in the development or retardation of human consciousness. Whether one watches Mak Yong, Mawi (photo) or M Daud Kilau, or listens to Led Zeppelin or Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, the impact of mental colonisation can be explained. "

Taken from "Who does Mak Yong serve?" by Azly Rahman in Malaysiakini.com (http://www.malaysiakini.com/columns/49539)

Read through some damn interesting blogs today. Couldn't do much else -- mind and body feeling rather sluggish and still can't get over Azhar passing away...still can't get over the feeling of utter vulnerability ... when is it going to be my turn to go ... and I have children so young? And I haven't made good. I haven't paid for the wrongs I've done to my parents and my kids...

The blogs:

http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=2707&popup_delayed=1 (Amazing interesting read)
http://freeexpressionasia.wordpress.com/2006/04/19/sheila-coronels-keynote-address/ (Sheila Coronel's address at Free Expression Asia)

Azhar Shaari passed away on Tuesday. Hafidz told me. He couldn't have been much older than I, maybe just 4 years older.

But I don't know the cause. I called Sulik and he was on the way to Kuala Kangsar where they'll take the body for burial. Sulik said that he didn't know either. Just that Azhar complained of tummy ache, collapsed and died.

I feel so sad for the parents, both still alive and having to bury two of their children, Yan just 9 years ago and now Azhar.

Parents shouldn't have to bury their children, but so many do and I'm so afraid.

Suddenly I feel the vulnerability.

No, I am not an apostate

Many of my friends who have access to this blog thought that I was turning apostate in reading my 'It must be nice to be Christian' post on March 25.

Of course I have no intention of adopting Christianity, because I believe that Islam is the right and most complete religion.

But because it is so complete, it is difficult to understand. It is indeed a weighty religion to understand and to follow, made worst by pre-Islamic cultural practices of peoples purporting to be Muslims in so many parts of the world. Which are Islamic requirements and which are cultural practises of various races who've embraced Islam over the centuries, are mixed in a quagmire of interpretations.

The more one goes into it, the more confusing it gets. So it is best that religion remains religion, culture remains culture and politics remains politics. Easy if only Islam isn't also a way of life.

But am I Muslim? Yes I am...culturally.

Appeared in Malaysiakini

Loh Seng Kok (BN-Kelana Jaya) wasn’t really far off in his speech when he complained about ‘imbalanced’ history textbooks, prayer recital guidelines and the difficulty of non-Muslims with regards to places of worship.

My fellow brethren strut around thinking that we shaped this nation. Well, let me tell it to you guys, others have shed blood for this nation, and if it were only possible to put the blood from all the races into barrels, classified by race, I wager that non-Malay blood would probably fill up more barrels. And if you could do it for sweat, the result would be the same.

Without the sacrifices and hard work of all Malaysians, this country would be hmm…maybe like Papua New Guinea. Anyway, without the Chinese and Indians who influenced the culture of this peninsular, we Malays would still be strutting around half-naked. They civilized us, before Islam did.

So my brethren, cut some slack. Recognise and acknowledge the contributions of others who helped give us so much.

(I won’t touch on the issues of prayer guidelines and worship that Loh brought up as well, lest my brothers in Islam label me murtad (apostate) which would be most scary.)

Shufiyan Shukur

It must be nice to be Christian

My people, we are full of angst. We are full of fear. We are insecure. We feel we are under siege.

Why my people? We rule this land. We are the majority. We rule the government. We have benefits the envy of our fellow Malaysians. It is our King who sits on his thrown.

Our religion is supreme. Mosques dot every housing estate and kampong. Early morning and very evening, the commandments of our God and teachings of our prophet, aspects of our religion are showcased on TV or broadcast from our radio stations.

But we have issues, serious issues. We are always on the defensive. We are always suspicious and the more we use religion to stress our ‘dominance’, or seemingly to be better Muslims, the more we feel we come under threat.

Christians don’t talk about Christianity. Hindus don’t talk about Hinduism. Buddhists don’t talk about Buddhism. THEY JUST PRACTICE IT.

But here we are, Muslims. Talking and talking and talking about Islam. It’s in our faces everyday, every minute.

Yet we seem to practice only the superficial – ‘bila saya ambik wudhu’ saya terlupa kalau saya dah basuh tangan saya tiga kali atau lebih…kalau lebih, haram ke?’

…and the next minute, we slap our wives for disobedience.

We go through the motions. We do our postures and say our prayers, like robots. We seem not to have the spiritual link to it. We’ve reduced our prayers to the Rukun Negara.

Our girls wear the tudung, but sleeves above their elbows, tight-fitting T-shirts and jeans, and walk hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm with their boyfriends in the parks and shopping centres of KL.

For me, no big deal, but lets take the tudung off?

Our boys seldom miss their Friday prayers or their daily prayers for that matter, but wouldn’t hesitate to drop their pants for a good romp with their ‘tudunged’ girlfriends in a Chow Kit hotel or the back seat of a Kancil or Saga. They wait in anticipation in front of factory gates for the girlfriends’ shift to end.

It’s too much to be Muslim. Too much pressure to do things we can’t understand because we pray in a language different from ours.

We understand the Shahadah, our affirmation of God and his prophet. Give us the Al-fatihah and most of us are lost. We recite it well enough, paying attention to the makhraj, but we can’t quite remember the meaning of each verse. Forget about knowing the meanings to the hundreds of verses in the Quran.

We’re lost, totally lost. And we can’t pray or recite the Quran in any other language but the language it is written in. We hope that when we are interrogated in death in a language we don’t understand, our spirits will know the answers – at least that’s what our ustaz tell us, but could this not be a cop out?

I don’t know. I certainly don’t know what Islam is all about. I ask Allah for forgiveness in a language I understand but go through the motions of prayer reciting verses in a language unknown to me.

There seems to be contradictions in what is taught and what is practiced. We are told that idolatry is haram, but we revere our prophet no differently from the way Christians revere Jesus, Hindus, Lord Murugan and Buddhists, Buddha. We have idolized our prophet.

God Almighty! What’s happening to the world of Islam?!

We’re in turmoil. Shia and Muslims are killing each other in Iraq. We’re butchering and being butchered in Nigeria and in Kalimantan.

How about we just chuck all the legal issues in the Moorthy case (and all other cases of apostasy) and focus on the human and religious issues?

For one thing, I, as a Muslim am not convinced that the late Mr Moorthy converted to Islam and remained a Muslim till he died. In my mind there is a possibility that he may have reverted to Hinduism. Did anyone hear him recite his ‘Shahadah’ before he lapsed into a coma (or helped him recited it)?

If Mr Moorthy really died as a Muslim, and had been cremated as a Hindu, what does it really matter? If he was a Muslim, regardless of how the body was treated at death, Allah swt would ‘deal’ with his soul as only He knows. Don’t you trust Allah swt implicitly and explicitly?

I think it awful for Mr Moorthy to have been buried by strangers, save for his brother. A person should be buried or cremated by his family members – a last farewell.

Also, I don’t understand the difficulty for converts to revert. If a person wants to leave Islam after conversion and reverts to his/her religion, or indeed if a born Muslim were to embrace another religion, what’s the problem?

The Quran says: Let there be no compulsion in the religion: Surely the Right Path is clearly distinct from the crooked path.(2: 256)

So let them (the apostates) answer to Him.

Allah swt did not mention in His Quran any punishment for apostates, so why are we relying on man-made Hadiths? Isn’t there a rule that where the Quran and Hadiths contradict, the Quran shall remain supreme? And in this case, there is a contradiction.

Even the Hadith in this respect is contentious with medieval and modern day Islamic scholars disagreeing on the penalty for apostasy.

The detractors to the death penalty were (and are) of the view that when the Prophet Muhammad said that apostates must be killed, it was in time of war. His fighters had asked him how apostates should be treated (for they were once Muslims) and his reply was that they should be treated the same as the enemy.

Those who believe that apostates should be put to the death quote from a Hadith:
“The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims." (Bukhari Vol. 9, book 83, number 17, narrated via Abdullah)

In my view, the death advocates must go back to basics – there is no compulsion in Islam and they should know that in times of war measures are different from times of peace.

It is also my view that although the word of Allah swt in the Quran is for all eternity, the interpretations of the Hadiths were man-made and should be taken in the context they were first written.

The recent cases on apostasy have shed a poor light on Islam. Now those who have intention to convert for fulfillment and belief, might just hesitate and Islam would have lost a ‘saudara baru’.

I wouldn’t recommend conversion for marriage though. Well, maybe a word of advice for those intending to convert for the ephemeral reason of ‘love’ – convert and get married elsewhere and don’t bother changing your identity card incase the ‘love’ turns sour later on and you crave for pork again.
For me the question is; what are we to follow, Allah or Imam Bukhari?

What do they teach in college?

Over the last one week, I’ve been going through candidates for the position of Consultants, PR Executives and Mandarin Specialists.

I can’t comment on the candidates for the Mandarin Specialist position, but going by what my colleagues who reviewed the written and translation tests tell me, their command of the language is only so-so. None could translate very well either.

Of the candidates who applied for the Consultant and PR executive positions, I am surprised that they were not able to articulate what PR is all about and many were Communications graduates. I wonder what they teach in college.

When asked the reason for them studying and wanting to get into PR, most mumble that they ‘like to meet people and organize events’. Well isn’t that shocking!

What’s surprising is that their command of English is absolutely poor – not even passable – even one who had graduated from Monash here. Those who had come out from TAR College or UTAR – well, absolutely appalling command of the English language.

(Not that my English is any good and I can’t tell between an adjective and an adverb and sometimes it’s as screwy as a pig’s tail, but I make the effort not to be a pig’s tail)

But there is hope! One lady, well she is 35 years old, was very good. English, very good. Verbal skills, very good too. But she dressed a little too casually for an interview. She comes from a production house and writes scripts. The probability is, she may not last very long in our environment. We’re very business-like, though there are periods of screaming and swearing. Dress code is work attire and a blazer is always worn for meetings with client or at events. Shoes must be spick and span and for the guys, a tie is a must.

So for those coming from the creative environment of advertising and production who are more comfortable being seriously casual, may find it difficult to fit in.

Another applicant I’ve only just interviewed today for the PR executive position surprised me a little. She’s a design graduate from MMU, but is working in the corporate communications department of a listed company. She started as a graphics designer and doesn’t do much writing, but she handled the ‘press release’ test admirably. I’ve spotted only one grammatical error, but I leave that to nervousness and time rather than anything else. I would recommend her for sure.

March 24, 2006

I just rejected business from Microsoft Malaysia. But it was a long wait. They first discussed the testimonial production September last year and it’s only today that they called to confirm the shoot.

But I have to be responsible to Zaman and Tham who gave me a job at Alpha (albeit on contract) which has helped save my butt.

My financial problems are not yet over by a long shot, but this regular income eases the problems of meeting monthly expenses a great deal. If I were to take on the production, it will surely encroach on my time at work and this wouldn’t be fair.

March 22, 2006

The other night – about 5 nights ago the ‘Jin’ disturbed Raziq again.

Raziq had taken his new found ‘girlfriend’ on a tour of the garden and the back area is a ‘no-go’ zone for him especially in the evenings, but well, once he’s made up his mind, he’s oblivious to everything.

That night at about 2.15am he started crying and complaining that his legs hurt and he was kicking them in the air. I put some traditional ointment that we have, but it didn’t work – he screamed more and when I switched on the light he cried out that he doesn’t want the light because it was hurting his eyes – but then, he had his eyes tightly shut throughout, so couldn't it be hurting them.

The more we read the ayat khursi, the more he screamed and cried, so Ton remembered the advice of a lady we had taken him to see last year, Makngah. She advised to crush some red onions, soak those in water and to massage his legs with the water.

It worked, as it had done before. He almost immediately stopped crying, opened his eyes as though surprised that we were over him, and then went back to sleep.

I believe this Jin has been responsible for a lot of the mishaps of the past and the creator of tensions within the family. Even Mum & Dad don’t come here anymore. They haven’t slept over since the last Raya. Mum hasn’t been and Dad comes to drop off letters. And the only time he's been into the house was just a few days ago when his half-brother came over to look at the leaks to the roof. It was the first time he’s entered the house itself and had coffee since Raya.

When first moved in, Raziq broke an arm and Ton injured her shoulder from falls. I slipped getting off the long bath and lucky for me the door broke my fall or I could have been injured. And a year before that, Raziq caught some weird inflammation around his hip and for over 3 weeks he could not walk and he was at an age when he just learned to walk too -- wobbling a long. The doctor couldn’t understand what it was. All test came up OK but the X-ray showed inflammation around the hips.

Also both Ton and I have seen or experienced ‘things’. But could just be our imagination, though I very much doubt it.